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Birdie Blog

  • Writer's pictureJason Scott

An Essay - “ I will be out sick today”

How fitting it would be my turn to write a blog post that fate would have me sick (I need no help procrastinating, as it is.) On a cough syrup high and a sleep low, I found myself writing a very long email to my co-workers. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I’m SURE they did. :)

Alas....I believe I jumped the gun coming in yesterday but the allure of our late afternoon bowling outing was just too much to bear. However, I realized once getting home, I was just so wiped out and too tired to function, that this shouldn’t be the end game of a little office work and 2 games of bowling. (Bowling isn’t quite an energy draining sport now is it.)

Nevertheless, phase 2 of this bastard virus set in early evening, which was the non-stop throat clearing and coughing (which continued until I passed out sometime around 2 a.m.). I made it before needing another round of being roughly 6:15 am for those of you on the edge or your seats.

To digress, I doubt you want me to come in today and cough all over the office. There may not be enough Lysol in the closet, and I don’t believe it would take long for you all to boot me out. So I will revel in how blessed I am to have a job I can do when I’m sick, from home in some nice loungewear, my aloe-infused Kleenex and hand sanitizer in-toe. (Also in-toe will more than likely be my 5 year old begging me to read a kids book for the 1,247,589th time. You’ve seen her face, it’s hard to say no. I’m still trying to find out if Amazon sells unicorns with Prime shipping.)

This is turning out to be the longest “sick leave” email ever, but now I’m having fun with it. I must be buzzed from the lack of sleep and Mucinex. I better check the dosage chart.

I’ve got irons in the fire to tend today, and a blog to write, which I will get done post-haste.

So in closing....just kidding. I’m done. Just be glad I didn’t insert “cough” in this little essay every time I had to stop typing to do just that. It’s taken me almost an hour to type this as a result.

I’m sure I’ll touch base with all of you at some point today.

Sincerely....your rib-aching and scratchy throat co-worker,



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